Kiev’s mayoral candidate for the Internet Party, “Darth Vader”, arrives to speak to the media on Volodymyrska Hill in Kiev, Ukraine on May 22, 2014. Amongst his pledges Mr Vader promises “fish for everyone” and “anti gravity tripods for journalists”. Ukraine’s Presidential elections are to be held on Sunday May 25, 2014. By Dan Kitwood/Getty Images.
Sakudaira, Japan, 6.05 pm
Plasticine Rhythm from Andy Martin on Vimeo.
Using the iPhone app ‘Vine’, I created a series of stop motion loops over a period of about 6 months. It was a good way to experiment quickly with plasticine in motion and they were fun to make (a compilation of these Vines can be seen at vimeo.com/94679344).
Too many of them have smoked weed.
Isn’t the phrase “trigger warning” a trigger?
— Anthony De Rosa (@AntDeRosa) May 20, 2014
Readers sound off on the blog debate:
I find it amusing that so many people are getting their knickers in a twist over trigger warnings on books. Has it not occurred to anyone that there have been warnings on content for decades? Hello, movie ratings system!
I don’t know about you, but I’ve read countless articles about the uselessness of movie ratings when it comes to violence. Did you know that Roman Polanski’s 1971 Macbeth was rated R, most likely because of the nudity of the witches and not because of the violence? How many movies out there have no sex or swearing because the director needed to get a PG-13 label, meanwhile, houses and people are blowing up on the screen in a frenzy of explosive action? What about explicit content labels on music?
As far as warnings infantilizing students: LOL. Trigger warnings are nothing more than a ratings system for novels. There have been warnings on erotic romance novels for years and I don’t see anyone freaking out about that. Most readers use the warnings to find the books that contain the specific content they most enjoy reading (i.e. gay romance, BDSM, etc.).
Personally, I like the warnings because they help me choose movies, listen to music, and read books that are exactly what I’m in the mood for at any given time. For me, the warnings are not warnings at all, they are ads: Oh yay! An action flick with explosions! A serious book with difficult moral choices! A great album! (Hmm, must remember not to play that racy song in front of my mother …)
Another points out:
If the concept of trigger warnings catches on, can you imagine the number of warnings that would have to be placed on the cover of the Bible?
It contains just about every trigger imaginable, including rape, incest, emotional abuse, torture, war, blood, infanticide, etc. If we are going to be in the business of trigger warnings, we better put one on pretty much all of Christianity.
Another is more sympathetic toward the warnings:
I remember being the first student that a professor had ever encountered to request permission not to stay in class during a painful discussion of a book (Girl, Interrupted). This was circa 2006. Having been in and out of the mental health system for years and having attempted suicide not long before college, I had found the depiction of serious mental illness too much to handle. I asked to leave. The professor told me no. I left anyway. It was genuinely too big a feeling to process at the time.
Seven years later, I’ve processed that and all my other triggers. They’re gone now, I’m emotionally tough and resilient, and I generally scoff at emotionally weak people … until I remember how it felt to have that trauma brought to the surface. Then I become more sympathetic again. I still recommend to friends that they try to feel their feelings as much as possible – it helps. But when people need to leave or avoid a situation, I listen. When I hear the completely unsympathetic talk so derisively of the younger generation and their big feelings, I wonder whether these teachers and professors have really lived a life with no trauma at all.
But another disagrees:
To me it seems like a waste of resources to cater to the easily offended. I agree with the idea you linked to from “No More Mister Nice Blog” that we could have them available online, but I think that even goes too far. For works of literature, there’s a vast amount of information at your fingertips about each piece of work. If you want to find out if there’s racism, sexual imagery, or violence in a book then you can simply google it and spare yourself the details. In my opinion, if you want to stay away from a particular subject, then it is your responsibility to avoid it and not everybody else’s responsibility to warn you.
Another is on the same page:
My sister-in-law has a young granddaughter who cries when she reads about bad things happening to the characters in the book. The 6 year old asked her grandma why did these things have to happen?
I counseled my sister to understand that stories are always about bad things that we get through, or puzzles we have to work out, which is why we tell the story. Why make a book or movie about everyone sitting around being happy and unchallenged? How can we not offer people a way to learn from other peoples’ tribulations in a safe setting? How can we possibly avoid the traumas of reality?
I call it the “get out the body condoms!” mentality in honor of Frank Dreben:
Avoiding unpleasantness at all costs and living in a bubble is not realistic. Nor is it realistic to expect universities to put trigger warnings on everything they use in classes.
[Re-posted from earlier today]
It’s that time of year again. Dish Publishing LLC is seeking an all-purpose intern to handle both administrative tasks and contribute to the editorial process. The admin side of the job will include: dealing with press inquiries and permissions, helping with support emails, managing the staff calendar, taking notes during meetings, making travel arrangements, and generally assisting the executive editors and me with sundry tasks. Strong organizational skills and attention to detail are musts. You need to be self-starting and pro-active in getting shit done.
The editorial side of the job will consist of ransacking the web for smart and entertaining nuggets, maintaining our social media presence, working on larger research projects, and helping the team guest-blog when yours truly takes a vacation. We prefer individuals who can challenge me and 
my assumptions, find stuff online we might have missed, and shape the Dish with his or her own personal passions. Reporting experience is also a big plus as we try to deepen our coverage. Someone with a background in web entrepreneurialism could catch our eye too.
The full-time internship pays $10 an hour, includes health insurance, and lasts for six months. The position is based in New York City. Since the Dish doesn’t have an office, most of the work will be done from home, but the staff meets regularly for lunch and coffee meetings and social gatherings. I want to emphasize that this is an intense job for the intensely motivated, and one that can get a little isolating at times. But it’s a pretty unbeatable chance to learn what independent online journalism can be as an integral part a close-knit team. We’ve decided to pare down to one intern to keep our lean budget under control, which means the one individual really does have to be special. You have to already know what we do here and care deeply about the Dish. And a sense of humor is a real asset.
We are hoping to hire very soon, so don’t delay if you’re interested. The cutoff for applications is next Friday, May 30, at midnight. The start date is July 7, but we are flexible. To apply, please e-mail your resumé and a (max 500-word) cover letter to apply@andrewsullivan.com.
Spanish matador Saul Jimenez Fortes is gored by a bull during the San Isidro Fair at Las Ventas bullring in Madrid, Spain on May 20, 2014. For the first time since 1979, the bullfight was cancelled after the three bullfighters were injured by bulls. By Europa Press/Europa Press via Getty Images.
In case you have the song stuck in your head too:
A reader is worried about TMI:
There is a reason you leave out the discussion of sexual pleasure in the sex talk with your kids: they are KIDS! They still think the other gender is yucky. Even when people kiss, kids are grossed out. You should get a jump on the game and tell them the facts of life BEFORE they are interested in sex. After I told my son the facts he stated “I’m NEVER doing that!” My daughter’s response was “That sounds really uncomfortable.” The basic facts are so preposterous to them they would never believe that people do it for fun!
Another reader notes:
Several year ago, the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ developed a series of sexuality programs that provide age-appropriate information for children, adolescents, and adults called “Our Whole Lives”. For example, the 27-session program for grades 7 thru 9 dedicates a class session to lovemaking and pleasure. This curriculum also dedicates a class session to masturbation, including the myths and facts about masturbation (e.g. the fact that masturbation is one of the safest sexual activities that a younger adolescent can engage in).
Another:
Three quick anecdotes:
1) Mom told me flat out, “Well, it feels really, really good. Of course God made it feel really really good! If it was boring like brushing your teeth, no one would ever get around to making babies!”
2) The first non-parental person whose opinion on the subject made me TRUST them was my Sunday school teacher in high school, who also said flat-out, “Sex is FANTASTIC. You’re going to love it, trust me!” (And then went on to explain how we should be married first, but still … it was so refreshing to hear someone tell the truth!)
3) As a kid, I knew my dad had a vasectomy because it was all part and parcel of my adoption story – Mom and Dad had children before me who died stillborn, and that was apparently going to keep happening (this was the 1960s), so dad got “fixed” and they adopted. Then when I was about nine, we had a male cat who got “fixed”, and while petting him, I discovered he had an erection. I went to Mom: “Hey, I thought when we ‘fixed’ him, he couldn’t do that anymore.” And Mom laughed really hard and turned a bit red, and said, “Well, no, what man would sign up for THAT?!” – which is when I realized we weren’t talking about the cat anymore …
Another anecdote from a reader:
My middle school science teacher (at my Catholic school) always made it a point, when we got to intercourse and reproduction, to tell us that “God made sex fun for a reason.” Whether you replace that with “nature,” “evolution,” “spaghetti monster,” or “Allah,” the point stands. I never really appreciated how progressive that was, much less in a Catholic school in the South, but the more time goes on the more I respect what she did. She was a phenomenal teacher all-around, and a big part of that was complete honesty with her students. What’s the best way to make humans reproduce? Make the method of doing so a complete blast!
Keep up the good work. I’m on my second year of subscription and have no regrets!
Far from your typical surf video:
One Hour of San Diego Surfing Time Collapsed: San Diego Study #4 from Cy Kuckenbaker on Vimeo.
Though not really the gays, according to this reader:
Maybe men having sex with women fake it. Men having sex with men don’t, since, well, the juice is part of what men like about sex with each other (as delicately put as I possibly can), even with a condom.
I’m a gay man who has more than once not reached an orgasm with a partner, or had a partner not reach one with me. The thing is, I understand what may be going on with my partner and he doesn’t have to prove anything to me by reaching an orgasm. I certainly understand what I’m feeling and experiencing and have no problem saying “I don’t think I’m going to cum tonight.” I’ve found that true with most of my partners.
I’ve had some pretty good sex without an orgasm, and did not think it was a flaw in me, or in him, that I didn’t or he didn’t or we both didn’t. For that matter, I’ve had some mediocre sex where we both had orgasms. Plus, as Dan Savage has noted in a video posted on this blog, men know of several pleasurable ways to be together and reach an orgasm besides penetration, which seems to be expected in a male-female pairing. Must be a straight thing.
It’s also more of a straight thing because orgasms are more elusive and idiosyncratic among women than men, as this reader can attest:
I am a 50+ year-old woman who’s had slightly fewer than 10 sexual partners. I have gotten into trouble from sexual desire. I have committed adultery from sexual desire. I am a single parent because of sexual desire. But I’ve never had an orgasm during sex. I have never had an orgasm during sex.
My first orgasms were when I was 12 or so.
They happened in the swimming pool of a friend of mine. I discovered that if I had a somewhat full bladder, and I propelled myself up and then floated down in the water a few times, I could trigger some awesome spasms between my legs. I didn’t know this had a name, I only knew I liked it.
I get turned on during sex. I’ve had partners who know what they’re doing. But I’ve never had an orgasm during sex. And I’ve always felt inadequate because of that. And yes, I fake it. Although the faking is no fun and doesn’t add to my enjoyment. I’m only trying to satisfy what I think are my partner’s expectations.
The only orgasms I get now come early in the morning, again with a full bladder. It’s as if the muscles around my urethra need to be teased into spasms. When I wake, sometimes if I press down on my vulva and clitoris, I can trigger the same orgasm I enjoyed as a child. But I can’t make this happen during sex.
And so I feel like a failure at making love. I’ve been with the same man for seven years. He’s good. He’s got a mechanic’s feel for torque. He’s had plenty of experience with other women/wives. And I fake it because I don’t want to admit that I can’t come. And this is miserable in a big picture sort of way.
Why don’t the numbers of women who never climax during sex force the conversation to admit that we are normal too? That sex can be over-the-top enjoyable without orgasm? Because it is.
Another female reader:
I’ll accept that faking it can be a relatively benign deceit, especially when having sex with someone you don’t intend to see for long. But I would never recommend it with someone you actually care about, because the downside can be profound (speaking from long ago experience in a my first serious relationship).
I did it once kind of innocuously, and then felt I had to do it a second time, and then it just became a downward spiral that left me lonely and frustrated and him suspicious and confused. He was a crappy partner and I pretended it felt great but I was never wet. Ehhhh. I cringe remembering it. It was just a bad, bad thing. I never got a chance to learn what would actually make me come and he never got the chance to become better in bed. In the end, it killed the relationship, and I vowed I’d never do it again.
The Dish 