Category: Poseur Alert

By Patrick Appel
"I know how it feels to see the design for the dust jacket of a book that I’ve written, but that’s different: the cover is not the book. An opera, on the other hand, truly exists only in performance, and must be created anew each time it is produced: the score is not the show. As I saw how Hildegard had transformed my libretto into a three-dimensional object, a Biblical phrase popped into my mind: Thus the word was made as flesh."– Terry Teachout, Artjournal.com. Awards glossary here. Most nominations come from readers.

"This is all funny stuff. But I submit that the true genius of lolcats lies in their tragedy. In one classic example, one cat is crying, and another is hugging it and saying, "Don’t crai. We’ll get cheezburger someday." It’s sweet and poignant and wistful all at the same time. Life can be hard, it says, and we don’t always get what we want, but even as we long for things we may never have, we draw succor from the reassurances of those we love. Sure, it’s ridiculous that what the cat is yearning for is a cheeseburger. But the cheeseburger is not really a cheeseburger — it’s a symbol," – Jay Dixit, Salon.

"There is no single English word for McCain the hero, the moral entity. But in Hebrew he would be called a tsaddik–a man of such nobility and moral substance that he approaches holiness. If this assertion sounds crazy, that only shows how little we have thought about the issue," – David Gelernter, Weekly Standard.

Award glossary here.

(Hat tip: Alex Massie)

The manufacturers of the Obama monkey-doll replied to a few appalled customers:

To Those with Heartfelt Queries, We chose twenty-two customer queries today that we believe merit a response.  You touched us with either your concern, intelligence, humor, sensitivity, and/or your thoughtfulness.  We thank you.  There are other queries we received today as well that we chose not to respond to, because of their spewing of venom and their aimlessness.

We at TheSockObama Co. are saddened that some individuals have chosen to misinterpret our plush toy.  It is not, nor has it ever been our objective to hurt, dismay or anger anyone.  We guess there is an element of naviete on our part, in that we don’t think in terms of myths, fables, fairy tales and folklore.  We simply made a casual and affectionate observation one night, and a charming association between a candidate and a toy we had when we were little.  We wonder now if this might be a great opportunity to take this moment to really try and transcend still existing racial biases.   

We think that if we can do this together, maybe it will behoove us a nation and maybe we’ll even begin to truly communicate with one another more tenderly, more real even. This is only our introductory plush toy. If we choose to move forward with a Republican candidate, we’ll begin with an elongated and slightly lumpy, fuzzy Idaho potato. Had a different Democratic candidate won the nomination, we were prepared to move forward with the cutest, fluffiest 12" chestnut and golden-haired squirrel, with a short Farrah-like do in a brown pantsuit and call her Squirellary. In earnest folks, we’re so sorry we offended anybody.

"And there he reclines on his swivel chair in his antiseptic office. Flanked by two dogs, the hirsute critic types a few mindless words as the computer slides onto the rippling folds of excess flesh that spill over his lower abdomen. “Not glib enough, not misogynistic enough,” he mutters to himself. He slowly lifts his lame wrist and languorously depresses the delete key….

Animals are allowed into the discursive space of Andrew Sullivan, but women, particularly bright, bespectacled women, are debarred entry. Women, after all, threaten the androcentric field onto which he and other men predicate their phantasms and identities. So there she stands, gazing in from without, a pane of glass separating her from the system of signs only Sullivan and his imaginary phallus can manage. She remains outside of language; she remains outside of the grid of the intelligible; she remains spectral; she remains invisible. Besides, he cannot descry her in that warped space he animates into existence with his myopic regard," – Larry Johnson’s blog.

My favorite comment:

Philly Joe is right that gay-bashing should not even be hinted at, though. I retract the term “pansy.”

Heh.

"This piece — in its textual and sculptural forms — is meant to call into question the relationship between form and function as they converge on the body. The artwork exists as the verbal narrative you see above, as an installation that will take place in Green Hall, as a time-based performance, as a independent concept, as a myth and as a public discourse.

It creates an ambiguity that isolates the locus of ontology to an act of readership. An intentional ambiguity pervades both the act and the objects I produced in relation to it. The performance exists only as I chose to represent it. For me, the most poignant aspect of this representation — the part most meaningful in terms of its political agenda (and, incidentally, the aspect that has not been discussed thus far) — is the impossibility of accurately identifying the resulting blood. Because the miscarriages coincide with the expected date of menstruation (the 28th day of my cycle), it remains ambiguous whether the there was ever a fertilized ovum or not. The reality of the pregnancy, both for myself and for the audience, is a matter of reading," – Aliza Shvarts. Oy.

"You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught me how to shoot when I was a little girl. You know, some people now continue to teach their children and their grandchildren. It’s part of culture. It’s part of a way of life. People enjoy hunting and shooting because it’s an important part of who they are. Not because they are bitter," – Senator Clinton, squeezing every last drop out of bitter-gate. Varmints, if you will.

"The sensual act of chewing, the voluptuous warmth of rebelling saliva, the artificial and secretly aseptic fragrance which spreads from the mouth as a promise and missed kiss. The synthetic fleshliness of the pink color, the obsessive square shape of the product unwrapped and ready to be shred to pieces by the power of the tongue, all compete in crashing on the senses. Applying all this to the power and energy of the Sculpture and its history causes a short circuit having the capacity of turning the ludic into stately and vice versa. The strict minimalism of parallelepiped is subverted by the uniform coating with many bars of chewing-gum completely cover it, rendering chewable to desire, soft and provoking to forbidden touch, what was abstract and distant," – a critical appreciation from Pastaficiocerere of an Italian sculptor who uses chewed chewing gum as a material.

A Dish Awards glossary, including "Poseur Alerts", can be read here.

"On exhibit is Sloss, Kerr, Rosenberg & Moore (2007), a video made in collaboration with four practicing New York City attorneys John Sloss, Chet Kerr, Scott Rosenberg and Thomas Moore. The work features the lawyers performing a movement and vocal score that references their work and lives. The rhythmic sequences illustrate the performative aspects of litigating, the pressures experienced while working inside the juridical system, the contest, the service and ultimately the lawyers individual humanity. Highly formal in its spatial design and patterning, the work becomes a kind of twenty-first century folk dance," – Alexander Gray Associates.

America’s reigning master of bullshit weighs in on the baseball steroid scandal. It is of course, a metaphor for everything:

Just about everybody, it seems, is on one kind of steroid or another these days. They’re trying to find a way around reality with steroids that boost their career, or conceal their motives, or propel them into a crowd that magnifies their personal power. The Stephen Glasses, James Freys, Jayson Blairs, J.T. Leroys, and Scott Thomas Beauchamps inject themselves with the steroid of fake facts. The religious fundamentalists have the steroid of fanatical self-righteousness, and the scientific fundamentalists who react to them have the steroid of, well, fanatical self-righteousness. The political bloggers make use of the steroid of implacable outrage. The libelous, or seductive, or predatory Internet user rides high on the steroid of an "avatar." And there is the steroid of political messianism boosting the pro-Iraq War crowd, and the steroid of cynical groupthink juicing up audiences addicted to the "comedy" news shows. And there is that most American steroid of all — the one that seems to give you a way to triumph over your own limitations — the credit card.

Lee Siegel has won the Poseur of the Year Award before. But the prize for 2007 is still open. Today is the last day for voting. Have at it.