Category: The Cannabis Closet

Zach Galifianakis lights up:

A reader writes:

I think pot should be legalized. I am for Prop 19. I just think that the push to make this happen draws people into minimizing the risks associated with smoking marijuana – particularly for adolescents.

The downside to Prop 19 is that it is going to create and increase some public health problems, particularly among teenagers and among the broader mentally ill population. I get that the measure would keep weed illegal for those under 21 and impose heavy penalties on anyone who facilitated kids getting weed. But let's not kid ourselves; more kids will have more access to weed, and this is a problem for which we need to prepare. You will forgive me, I hope, for being a bit skeptical about seeing a concomitant increase in funding for substance use treatment programs or mental health in general.

As someone who is finishing my training as a child and adolescent psychiatrist and as someone who used to smoke a fair bit in college and medical school, I really do see both sides of this.

On the one hand, I have kids tell me that MJ can truly salve their anxiety and even, occasionally, treat their ADHD. Some of them can even use it appropriately for this or just straight social purposes. It sure as hell helped me relax and connect with people in ways that were otherwise hard to do when I was a teenager.

But then weed didn't cure my anxiety. Therapy did (yes, I get that this doesn't work for everyone). Still, I have yet to see a kid show up stoned saying, "Let's do some therapy and figure this shit out." In my work I see kids whose depression or anxiety keeps getting worse as they smoke more and more. I see kids who have had their first psychotic break while smoking marijuana and are never quite the same afterwards. Onset of psychosis or other major mental illness left aside, I most often see kids who are determined to use weed (and alchohol, and a bunch of other stuff) to avoid whatever rage or sadness or both that they are sitting on.

I've attached a few papers. You can no doubt find contrary studies with a Google Scholar search. The weight of the evidence though, is that cannabis use – particularly frequent use at vulnerable periods like adolescence (which, neuro-developmentally speaking, often runs well past 21) – is pretty consistently associated with worse outcomes over time. It isn't necessarily the cause, and the rates aren't dramatic, but they are real. When we increase weed's availability then we increase the frequency of these outcomes, and that means that there is a social and a human cost. As I said above, I agree that in the end these specific costs are worth what we save in other areas. I do think it behooves us, however, to think about how to tend to these issues.

A reader writes:

In the past six months I have made extraordinary efforts to find a way to quit breaking the law.  I use pot, perhaps no more than the size of a pencil eraser, every night to sleep.  The "legal" medications exacerbated the depression and anxiety that are a result of child-hood trauma. My primary care physician understands this and has said, more than once, that "if it helps you and keeps you mentally well then continue."  I have.  For almost 20 years (I'm 37).  I have a graduate degree from Georgetown, I am the dept chair of a vibrant/progressive English department, I have been teaching for 15 years, I have a healthy marriage and two fabulous kids.  There has not been a single negative consequence – except the one time i was busted for possession – on an otherwise normal existence.

So when I began investigating becoming a licensed patient, two things emerged. 

First, my physician – whom I trust implicitly – was not willing to risk her license or practice to prescribe the medication because the state doesn't list my condition under the law.  Second, when I finally found the name of a doctor willing to prescribe medical marijuana to me, the nurse told me that at the time of booking the first appointment there is a REQUIRED FEE OF $500 and a waiting list until February to see the doctor.  When I called dispensaries to find out if that was common, the employees sighed and said, "well…cash is king right now."  My confusion must have been evident.  He went on to say that, "since there is such a rush of applicants to get licenses the doctor can charge whatever he wants."

The doctor has turned into a MUCH more expensive version of current source.  If I want weed, then I'm better off asking one of my high-school students for a hook-up (something i would NEVER do, obviously) than paying that kind of money for a simple consult.  I'm not sure how this is legal but it certainly seems unethical.

A reader writes:

I have severe ADD as well. Last winter, at the urging of my 20 year old daughter, I smoked weed for the second time in 30 years.  And I had the same reaction as I did last time: I curled up and waited for it to pass. Long ago when I was a regular pot smoker I was utterly incapable of even the simplest tasks. So I stopped smoking and life lurched forward.   One man's poison is another man's elixir. 

When I started taking Adderall about 10 years ago, I literally wept over my new-found ability to manage my life and work. I am old enough that ADD was not on the radar screen for most of my life. Deemed intelligent by most, I was commonly told that I could do better if I just bore down and concentrated.  This is as punishing as telling a one-legged man to just run faster.

What I am really pushing back on is the tacit implication that Adderall is a phony treatment.  Worse, I am weary of the judgmentalism that seems to cloud ADD. 

ADD is something that is extraordinarily difficult to describe and similarly difficult to understand as a non-sufferer. This has brought me an awful lot of unsolicited commentary.  I get things like, "You just have to modify your diet," or  "Richard Branson doesn't treat his ADD," or even "it's all in your head."  (Duh!)  Parking tickets and burnt muffins is a way of life for us ADD folk.  It is expensive and a pain in the ass.  With Adderall, I get half the tickets and burn fewer muffins. Leaving people with the impression that a couple of bong hits will solve my headaches really just compounds them. 

I am happy that a reader found relief with pot.  If it works, it works.  But anecdotal blurbs such as this have a way of depreciating the realities of ADD and are too often seized by the ignorant to support their own beliefs.

A reader writes:

I’m a college student (should be writing my final paper right now, in fact), so there isn’t any real stigma regarding smoking marijuana, but I do it for a much different reason than most of my friends. I’m 21 and I have rather severe Attention Deficit Disorder, something I’ve struggled with my entire life.  The only medication that works for me at all is Adderall, which I  think of as meth for rich people.  However, while taking 25mg a day allows me to function normally as a student, it also makes me miserable.  My medication suppresses my appetite to the point where I can’t smell food without feeling nauseous, makes me panicky and paranoid, exacerbates my already bothersome insomnia and migraines, and (perhaps worst of all) destroys my sex drive.  My doctor’s response to these terrible side effects was more medication, mostly sedatives that make me feel like I’m walking on the bottom of the ocean and put me into an uncomfortable, dreamless sleep-coma.

I hated my life.  I almost dropped out of college after my first semester because the idea of spending four years jacked up on Adderall, not sleeping, barely eating, and uninterested in the beautiful college girls all around me, was completely unbearable.

Andrew, weed is nothing short of a miracle for me.

I had smoked it before and enjoyed it, but never while I was taking my medication.  A couple tokes and my headaches disappear, my appetite comes back with a vengeance, and my panicked paranoia melts into comparatively blissful relaxation.  A couple more, and I can get a full night of deep, restful sleep, something I have trouble with even without amphetamines in my system.  Even when I’m not taking Adderall, marijuana helps: my ADD causes my thoughts to jump constantly from topic to topic, my hands get restless if they’re not continuously occupied and I’m always twitchy (which is exhausting when you do it all day) – all of this is much better when I’m stoned.  Plus, it’s fun!  I can stare at the wall forever if I want to!  Maybe that’s not such a novelty to you, but for me, it’s like having a superpower.

Because of weed, I don’t have to choose between being functional and feeling good.  I don’t like having to break the law, but as a well-off, clean-cut white college student in a state with relatively relaxed cannabis laws, the risk for me is minuscule, and well worth the reward.  In every other aspect of my life, I am a model citizen – there’s not so much as a parking ticket on my record. I’m careful and responsible about my drug usage, and try to buy from people who grow it themselves and aren’t using my money to fund violent gangs.  That billions of dollars are wasted in this disastrous War on Drugs and thousands of lives are ruined, all in the name of protecting me from something that makes my quality of life significantly better, is a national outrage.

A reader writes:

I'm a more-or-less daily smoker. I smoke to help with problems associated with being a survivor of sexual abuse. I don't remember much about my abuse, thankfully, which happened before I was 6.  But the lingering effects are anxiety and nightmares.  When I stop smoking, I rarely sleep a full night, as I'm plagued by nightmares of the demons of my unconscious mind: squids attacking me in the ocean, or bats from a dark sky, etc. With a little THC in my system, I never have these dreams; without THC, I'm attacked every night. Thank God for it.

A reader writes:

I'm among the legions of pot smokers who have a chronic disease. For me it's severe eczema that itches like hell, splits my hands and feet (and right now face) into tens of cuts, and hurts from swelling.  Nothing else ever works. I've tried the sleeping pills, drink, exhaustion – nothing.  Cannabis dulls the pain and distracts my mind from the itching, which allows me to drift off.  I wake up fresh. When I visit my in-laws I can't bring any, and I stay awake 20-30 hours at a time, finally collapsing for 4-5 hours between.  That's what my life would be like without it. 

I'm really trying to get my eczema under control without having to resort to drugs with potentially awful side effects.  Of all the drugs that I've used, only prednisone works as well as cannabis in easing the symptoms – after all, being awake 2-4 more hours a day means that much more itching, and feeling rested is more precious than many people realize.  But prednisone is so dangerous you can only stay on it a few weeks at a time.

Thanks for all the articles; they make me hopeful someday I'll be able to simply buy some at the pharmacy, or better yet grow it at home.  Music sounds great, the world kind of sparkles, and I get very tired.  How bad can it be?

A reader writes:

I have to thank you. For years, I have been in chronic pain from a condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Simply put, my collagen is messed up, so my joints don't stay in place. The resulting dislocations and subluxations, as well as arthritis that comes from such joint damage, is incredibly painful. I have the joints of a 70 year-old woman, and I'm not even 21 yet. I'm on powerful prescription painkillers, and yet my Tylenol intake (as a supplement to my prescriptions) was through the roof.

As my joints deteriorated, particularly in recent months, I was frequently lying down, out of commission, sometimes for days on end. As a full-time student studying music at one of the top conservatories in the nation, I couldn't afford that. I had thought about medical marijuana before for pain relief, but had been brought up to stay on the so-called straight-and-narrow. Your consistent advocacy for marijuana, and your willingness to post articles from the Cannabis Closet like this one, convinced me to finally try it. So about two weeks ago, I got a prescription–ain't it great to live in California?–and got some quality weed.

Andrew, I am a different person.

I used to be curled up in pain every evening from the exertions of the day (hard physical labor like, ya know, walking to class, or carrying a bag of groceries). I would whimper or complain or just plain cry for hours. Now I'm more cheerful, more relaxed, more energetic. Good, painless sleep does that to you, I guess. My pain level is such that I have to be pretty high to control my pain, but if I'm chilling out at the end of the day, I really don't mind that.

I worry now that it will hurt my employment opportunities. I wonder what you're supposed to do, to say to investigators who want your drug history. "Yes, I used to use medical marijuana to control the pain of my degenerative disease. I don't anymore; I'm in pain every day so that you will employ me." What kind of job, what kind of country, considers that inhumanity an acceptable answer?

A reader writes:

That Scenes From the Drug War post really freaked me out. I watched the video all the way through and was so bugged that I posted it to my Facebook page. Six hours later I came back and found two comments. One was from a buddy of mine who is an FBI agent doing anti-gang work in New York City. He urged me to join mpp.org and advocate for decriminalization. The second was from a lawyer friend of mine who wrote "it has happened before," and posted this link.  After reading a second story about a police raid over drugs that aren't found and involving pets murdered in front of family members, I started to get concerned. If there are other documented examples of this kind of behavior, they need to be compiled into a single place so we can get a handle on exactly what kind of society we are running here.

You see, I just started smoking marijuana about eight months ago and I recently had a drug dealer over to my apartment. Now I'm wondering whether there is a possibility that the police will break down my door, shoot my dog, and arrest me. I have seriously started to wonder whether I've been wrong for my entire life about who the good guys are and who the bad guys are in society, at least when it comes to drugs. I come from a Christian home and I've always admired the police. But this is scary and it has me bewildered.

Eight months ago I probably would have been neutral to mildly supportive of the war on drugs. But in October of 2009 a neighbor of mine got me smoking weed with her and then we stayed up late on several occasions and talked while high. I am 35 and had only smoked on about two occasions prior to that, both times since I turned 30. This time I smoked with this friend on about 20 different occasions, figured out how to do it right, and we often spent several hours in deep conversation.

The experience caused me to dramatically re-evaluate my life and it resulted in the end of a depression that I've been in for several years. I've not been depressed for about three months solid, and it is one of the weirdest experiences of my life. I haven't been this enthusiastic in a decade. At first I chalked it up to making a job switch and doing some thinking. Shortly after I started smoking pot with my friend I got the name of her supplier, bought a bit of my own, and then read a couple books on marijuana including Understanding Marijuana: A New Look at the Scientific Evidence. A couple of times the author mentioned that marijuana has been used to treat depression.

Then, a few weeks later I Googled "indica vs sativa" and happened upon a website that claimed sativa is used to treat depression. I still didn't think anything of it. A week later I asked my supplier for some sativa, assuming we'd been getting indica all along since it is more common. He told me that we had in fact been smoking a primarily sativa variety. Now I wonder if I have in fact unwittingly benefited from medical marijuana. Maybe my job change and my thinking had a good deal to do with the lifting of my depression, but I've changed jobs before and I've done a lot of thinking all my life. What did seem to correspond exactly with the lifting of my depression was a couple of months smoking weed and talking things over with a friend.

I guess it's about time for someone to kick down my door, shoot my dog in front of a child, terrorize my housemates, and arrest me – for the good of society.

A reader writes:

I'm a full-time working mother of two small children.  A couple nights a week, after the kids are in bed, I smoke a bowl, usually shared with my husband.  This is so much better then having a couple beers or a glass of wine.  I'm not hungover the next day and it's easier on the wallet.  I can fully relax at night, tune out a bit and I'm able to go to work the next day, no problems.  If it's a weekend I can fully interact with my children without ever having to say, "Shhh, mommy's got a headache." 

Fortunately for me, I live in a middle-class neighborhood and I'm white, so if the cops ever bust down my door they'll probably leave before arresting me because the paperwork's not worth it.  Maybe that's why the illegality of it doesn't bother me.

Granted, my office doesn't know; it's my private life.  But all our friends know – they either agree or keep their judgments to themselves.  Both my kids are incredibly happy children.  Maybe my kids are incredibly happy because their parents have learned to chill out without having to plop them down in front of the TV on Saturday and Sunday mornings so we can recover from drinking the night before. 

Conservatives in the country want less government, and then get all riled up when people are doing private things they disagree with?  I just don't get it.  How can they demand to have it both ways?  I understand which lobbyists are paying these politicians (God help Miller and Budweiser when pot becomes legal).