If The Post-Impressionists Were Dentists

Move over, Beam and Friedersdorf. Andrew Sprung remembers this Woody Allen classic:

Dear Theo 

Will life never treat me decently? I am wracked by despair! My head is pounding. Mrs Sol Schwimmer is suing me because I made her bridge as I felt it and not to fit her ridiculous mouth. That's right! I can't work to order like a common tradesman. I decided her bridge should be enormous and billowing and wild, explosive teeth flaring up in every direction like fire! Now she is upset because it won't fit in her mouth! She is so bourgeois and stupid, I want to smash her. I tried forcing the false plate in but it sticks out like a star burst chandelier. Still, I find it beautiful. She claims she can't chew! What do I care whether she can chew or not! Theo, I can't go on like this much longer! I asked Cezanne if he would share an office with me but he is old and infirm and unable to hold the instruments and they must be tied to his wrists but then he lacks accuracy and once inside a mouth, he knocks out more teeth than he saves. What to do?

Vincent 

The VFYW Contest: Where’s That Window?

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Sent by a reader back in January. You have till noon Tuesday to guess it. Country first, then city and/or state. If we have a tie, the time will count. And remember to put "VFYW Contest" in the content line of the email. Winner gets a free The View From Your Window book. Have at it. 

Pity The American Soccer Fans

Daniel Gross sympathizes:

Following the U.S. national team in the World Cup is a somewhat solitary endeavor in part because the scheduling doesn't lend itself to social or family watching. Unlike the Olympics, the World Cup is not scheduled or televised according to U.S. preferences—the last time the quadrennial tournament was staged in the Western hemisphere was 1994. To watch the United States' opening game in the 2002 World Cup, I had to go to the Irish pub across from my New York apartment at 4 a.m. This year the schedule is only slightly better: this Saturday against England at 2:30 p.m. ET, Friday, June 18, against Slovenia at 10 a.m. ET, then Wednesday, June 23, at 10 a.m. ET, against Algeria. Yes, pubs and sports bars will be showing the games. But how many people will leave work, or take the day off, or skip the Little League game or pool party, to sit indoors and watch a soccer match? My guess is that when the U.S. plays England, the bars in New York and Los Angeles will be like Condé Nast in the 1990s—overrun with Brits.

Against Media

A challenging rant from Al Giordano, pivoting off my link to Alain de Botton's essay. Money quote:

What I have often smacked down from this corner as “the outrage of the week” and the panicked Chicken Little behavior of those who follow the commercial media’s constant feedbag of crisis and attention-seeking, is really, all of it, a consequence of the harms that de Botton describes. Like domesticated oxen, the population is yanked from media stoked crisis to crisis, all of which carry a whiff of apocalypse: an oil gusher in the Gulf now comes with underwater 24-hour live stream cameras, all available online and to TV networks, as experts – real and invented – jump onto our screens to tell us their version of what is happening…

De Botton describes the debilitating effect of all this crisis-mongering on the media consumer. But we had also better study what it does to the media worker – not just journalists, per se, but communicators and artists of all kinds – who are now reduced to typing monkeys that have to go out and find those “instant experts” or cram to be able to at least play them on TV, or on a blog, or any other media. You’re expected to write or talk or shout about every crisis of the week, so you – I'm talking to you, fellow and sister media workers! – run to Wikipedia and the rest of the online library to pull up some factoids and buzzwords that fool the crowd into thinking the reporter or communicator really knows what he and she are writing or talking about. The formulaic nature of this kind of frenetic activity at work stations is killing so much of the creativity of the formerly “creative class”!

A Miraculous Fuel

David Schaengold smacks down Jeff Jacoby's defense of oil:

Even if you don’t care at all about the environmental damage caused by the petroleum industry, however, and Jacoby doesn’t seem to, you should still support efforts to reduce our oil consumption. In fact, the more miraculous and unique you believe the properties of oil are, the more you should support this reduction. It’s true that petroleum combines energy density with portability at room temperature and pressure in a way that no other substance does. It actually is something of a miraculous fuel, and it has powered our economic growth for close to a century now. There’s no fuel that even comes close to replacing kerosene and naphtha as jet fuel. What’s astonishing is that we know that it’s irreplaceable and we know that there’s a quite finite amount of it easily extractable, and yet we continue to use it with utter profligacy. We pave our roads with it. We drink from bottles made out of it. Will we someday be unable to fly across the country because we couldn’t bring ourselves to stop paving over greenfields with petroleum so that our petroleum-gulping SUVs could park in front of our petroleum-clad houses?

The Weekly Wrap

Today on the Dish, Iceland unanimously adopted gay marriage, we found a raft of new footage showing dead and imperiled Iranians, and a new video of the flotilla emerged as well. Andrew confronted Chait's latest take on Israel, responded to a reader invoking the trauma of terrorism, and talked about the president's management style with the spill. More on BP's criminality here and here (and a heap of BS here). Talk of a Gulf recovery act here and an ethanol bailout here.

In other news, the recession forecast looked excellent, the cannabis forecast looked good, and a reader's recession was looking up. Quote for the day here and questions here. Malkin Award here. Readers went back and forth over the impact of wind turbines on birds (carbon is still the biggest culprit). Jesse Bering looked into the evolutionary ties of public speaking. Andrew sided with the England team and highlighted some English humor.

In random goodness, a YouTube starlet hit the big time, Alfred Hitchcock dropped a TWSS, and a badass dog made his escape. MHB here, VFYW here, and FOTD here.

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Farmington, New Mexico, 4 pm

Thursday on the Dish, Andrew delivered his latest take on Israeli politics, kept the heat on Michael Oren, and bloviated over means testing Social Security. He also highlighted the harsh anti-gay policy of the Boston archdiocese, and readers chimed in here and here. In spill coverage, the Brits bit back over perceived xenophobia, more horrible details emerged about dead birds, and the company got lampooned by UCB. Further BP coverage here, here, and especially here.

An unusually long string of daily quotes here (Kristol), here (NoKo), here (Kagan), here (Israel), here (Prop 8), and here (oil spill). We also dug into the data on interracial marriage, saw more evidence of gay acceptance, and kept an eye on the far right in Holland. Palin hilarity here. Glenn Beck hathos here.

In assorted commentary, Larison countered Yglesias on Iran sanctions, Joel Wing spotlighted the extreme wealth in Iraq politics, and Joe Klein took down Dorothy Rabinowitz over Obama's patriotism. Readers dissented over the gay generational divide, shared their thoughts on the spill's spiritual crisis, offered expert opinion on California's new primary scheme, sounded off on the VFYW contest, and shared more info on the Carpenters.

Hewitt award here, a close candidate here, and Thiessen bile here.  Entertaining videos here, here, and here. Random hilarity here and here. Petite vanilla scone update here. Super creepy ad here. MHB here, VFYW here, and FOTD here.

Optus Secret Training Camp from Paranoid US on Vimeo.

Wednesday on the Dish, Andrew took a long look at the complex and troubled history of Israel. He also scratched his head at Michael Oren and Eli Lake. Gadi Taub pleaded with Israel to change course, Yglesias analyzed the latest sanctions against Iran, and John Collins Rudolf revealed the hidden damage of the oil spill. Prop 8 court updates here and here. Get your Palin fix here and here.

In electoral coverage, Josh Marshall checked in on the latest primary results, Ambinder addressed California's new jungle primaries, Taylor Steven made the case for an incumbent victory this fall, and Andrew hoped for a GOP comeback. Kaus campaign update here. In assorted commentary, Jeff Jacoby went to bat for petroleum, Edward Glaeser defended merit pay, David McRaney talked counter-culture and capitalism, Doug McCune visualized San Francisco's various crimes, Patrick examined the demographics of Internet users, and Alain de Botton warned of the perils of tracking the news.

Andrew meditated over death and conservatism while readers sounded off on fag hags. Lesbian PSA here, remixed movie posters here, and more music from the Carpenters here. Our chart of the day showed a shocking rate of incarceration. Recession view here. MHB here, VFYW here, and FOTD here.

We also announced the winner of our first VFYW contest and heard from a bunch of losers.

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(William West/AFP/Getty Images)

Tuesday on the Dish we looked closely at the supposed al Qaeda-flotilla link, Israelis were found to have strongly supported the raid, Andrew challenged Walter Russell Mead's view of the US-Israel relationship, some Israeli students made a savvy gesture towards Turkey, and Madrid barred gay Israelis from a pride parade. Andrew also dug into a disturbing new report on Gitmo torture and wondered if there is a single anti-Zionist columnist. Dissents of the day here.

In spill coverage, Flowing Data illustrated BP's gross negligence, ProPublica exposed more criminality, and the Onion did its work. Beinart shone a light on American hubris, TNC piled on the White House press corps beach party, Greenwald mocked Limbaugh's fourth marriage, Jim Burroway scrutinized a study of lesbian parents, Jesse Bering studied fag hags, E.D. Kain scrunched his forehead over school choice, and Matt Welch knocked journalist "objectivity."  Foreign Policy commemorated the Green Movement and a rock group dedicated a song to Neda. Word Cup coverage here. Orly Taitz won't go away.

Readers defended atheism, others revolted over male reproductive rights, and another mused over her love for animals. Yeas and Nays scanned the District for gays and the Daily Caller spotted Obama speechwriters shirtless. Beard porn here and creepy ad here. MHB here, Sully MHBs here and here, VFYW here, and FOTD here.

The Dish launched its first installment of the VFYW contest (with only a minor hiccup).

Monday on the Dish, Andrew laid into BP, demanded the full footage of the flotilla, spotlighted an empty apology from Israel, and went to bat for whistleblowers and Wikileaks. Beinart detailed the Israel-evangelical nexus and readers sounded off on his plea for Gilad Shalit. We also touched upon the Helen Thomas row and caught Palin in another lie.

In assorted coverage, tea-partiers started to get serious on military spending, Andrew Exum slapped his forehead over Fiorina, Bernstein further pegged the GOP as the party of torture, and Andrew Revkin kept a close eye on BP. Ezra Klein laid out his budget strategy, Greenwald had a field day with White House reporters Super-soaking with top officials, Chris Beam lampooned political scientists, Kinsely weighed in on worst case scenarios, Douthat looked for a silver lining in the potential Newsmax-Newsweek deal, and Yglesias predicted an army of elder bloggers.

Andrew and a reader discussed Palin's broken Christianity, another reader endorsed a quieter faith, and Stephen Prothero supported a similar non-faith. Elle renewed the debate over male reproductive rights, Sady Doyle downplayed the perils of hooking up, Laura Vanderkam vouched for working in pajamas, Jonah Lehrer gazed into our memories, Nick Carr garnered a bunch of attention, and a reader shared her recession.

Catholic WTF here. A cool ad for gay marriage here. Hot beard action here. MHB here, VFYW here, and FOTD here. Details about a new Dish feature here.

— C.B.