The Wodehouse Primary

Alex Massie has a priceless post that begins:

In my sourer moments I find myself persuaded that Bertie Wooster’s verdict on aunts also applies to politicians: "It is no use telling me that there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof."

He’s got the dreadful Clinton down:

One can easily imagine Hillary addressing a chap, thus:

"I think" she said "I shall be able to make something of you, Bertie. It is true yours has been a wasted life up to the present, but you are still young, and there is a lot of good in you…It simply wants bringing out."

But what if you don’t want bringing out? Opting out ain’t an option with this sort of girl. And it gets worse. When Hillary isn’t being Honoria Glossop she’s reminding one of Florence Craye. Now it’s true that Bertie was briefly infatuated with Miss Craye. But that was until he engaged Jeeves and was persuaded that Miss Craye was a thoroughly unsuitable match (See Carry On, Jeeves for the details). As Bertie realised:

"The root of the trouble was that she was one of those intellectual girls, steeped to the gills in serious purpose, who are unable to see a male soul without wanting to get behind it and shove."

Some of us might prefer to remain un-shoved.

A lovely description of libertarianism in a way: the resistance to being shoved by politicians.

The Inaccuracy Of The AP

Why are they shilling for the Bush administration? Here’s their second sentence in a story today:

The destruction in late 2005 of the tapes, showing harsh interrogation treatment of two terrorism suspects, is being investigated by the Justice Department, the CIA itself and by several congressional panels.

No serious source denies that these two individuals were – at the very least – waterboarded. And no serious, reasonable student of history, warfare or basic ethics can deny that waterboarding is now and always has been a torture technique. Why can the AP not use the word clearly in accord with its plain meaning in English? They have to make a choice. And they have decided to enable the Bush administration’s Orwellian perversion of the law and the English language. Really: a factual correction is required. This is not a subjective judgment. It is an objective fact.

Booze

All you need to know at Christmas – and more. If you want to get plastered as quickly as possible – because, you know, you have to spend time with your family – here’s a tip:

Rate of absorption of alcohol depends on several factors. It is quickest, for example, when alcohol is drunk on an empty stomach and the concentration of alcohol is 20-30%. Thus, sherry, with an alcohol concentration of about 20% increases the levels of alcohol in blood more rapidly than beer (3-8%), while spirits (40%) delay gastric emptying and inhibit absorption. Drinks aerated with carbon dioxide—for example, whisky and soda, and champagne—get into the system quicker.

I always try to get as numb as possible at this time of year. It makes the hell pass more quickly.

Face Of The Day

Bushjimwatsongetty

US President George W. Bush holds a press conference in the Brady Press Briefing Room 20 December, 2007 at the White House in Washington, DC. Bush said Thursday that his biggest concern about Afghanistan was that US allies would get ‘tired’ and abandon the strife-torn country. ‘My biggest concern is that people say ‘well, we’re kind of tired of Afghanistan, therefore we think we’re going to leave,” the US president said at a year-end press conference. By Tim Sloan/AFP/Getty.

Welcome To The US

A young, blonde Icelandic woman writes about her recent trip to America:

During the last twenty-four hours I have probably experienced the greatest humiliation to which I have ever been subjected. During these last twenty-four hours I have been handcuffed and chained, denied the chance to sleep, been without food and drink and been confined to a place without anyone knowing my whereabouts, imprisoned. Now I am beginning to try to understand all this, rest and review the events which began as innocently as possible.

She was hoping to have a fun Christmas trip to New York City. Her treatment reads like a passage from Eastern European police states in the 1970s. Apparently, she had overstayed a visa in 1995 for three weeks. Leg chains? I guess we’re lucky she wasn’t hooded. This is Cheney’s America, after all.