“Being A Nerd Is Not Supposed To Be A Good Thing” Ctd

A reader writes, “I’m surprised no one has recommended the film Zero Charisma to the discussion – here’s the trailer”:

Yet another reader responds to this nerd’s cri de coeur:

I am nerdy, but not a nerd. Let me explain. I am nerdy because I have a Joker bobble heads on my desk, I have Final Fantasy VI on my phone and a Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man keychain. But I’m also an attorney, a theater major, a lover of F. Scott Fitzgerald and a Dish Subscriber. I am nerdy because I am fluent in Batman and love video games. But I am not a nerd, because if you are not interested in those things, I am capable (nay, enjoy) discussing other things. Current events, dramas, poetry, even baseball. In short, I am more than the things I love. nerdy things does not make one a nerd. A nerd is a person who can only view life through the things they are obsessed over. It doesn’t matter how they got there, what matters is their inability to see their own tunnel-vision.  Therefore, yes, there are sports nerds, political junkie nerds, historical accuracy nerds. They’re everywhere, and they want what they want on their own terms. Alas. Here’s a guy who said it better – Robert Ebert on Revenge of the Nerds II:

These aren’t nerds. They’re a bunch of interesting guys, and that’s the problem with “Revenge of the Nerds II.” The movie doesn’t have the nerve to be about real nerds. It unnamed (11)hedges its bets. A nerd is not a nerd because he understands computers and wears a plastic pen protector in his shirt pocket. A nerd is a nerd because he brings a special lack of elegance to life. An absence of style. An inability to notice the feelings of other people. A nerd is a nerd from the inside out, which is something the nerds who made this movie will never understand.

Another reader:

Holy shit. As problematic as the actual content of what this reader wrote is, I find it absolutely spot on as an explanation for why I drifted away from all those stereotypical subcultural things that nerds are into: comic books, video games, sci-fi/fantasy, etc. Loved them as a shy and awkward kid. Learned how to deal with others, be sociable, talk to girls, and get laid when I was about 16. And it wasn’t like I didn’t still enjoy those things. No, it was that it seemed everyone else who enjoyed them was, as your reader writes, in some various stage of arrested development, and pretty insufferable to be around (e.g. “because we’re smarter than the idiots who wouldn’t let us in”). This was two decades ago: I kind of wish the mainstreaming of the things I like had happened back then, because then I could have continued to enjoy them without having to deal with the basement dwellers.

Several, less churlish readers sound off:

Hi Chris, Andrew, and team! I’ve been reading the Dish on and off for more than 10 years, and this is the first topic I’ve ever felt inspired to write in about. Forgive me if this is long, but I feel that a lot of people have been led astray by Gamergate.

First, thank you for posting Jesse Singal’s Reddit letter. It clarified a lot of things for me.  Another truly excellent article that clarifies the fog that is GamerGate is by Katherine Cross. Second, I have a response to your reader who wrote:

I went home and played videogames because I couldn’t play sports and didn’t have the competitive instinct, but eventually the jocks followed me home, demanding sports games and fighting games and soon the market shifted to cater to them, leaving me to find another thing. Then it was comics, and then the dopes followed me home again and demanded lowest common denominator action nonsense with the names of the things I liked slapped onto them. This is the plight of the nerds; we have to listen to media morons talk about how mainstream being a nerd is as what we love, what we devote our lives to, is co-opted by the very people who we sought escape from through our eclectic obsessions.

I’ve liked “nerdy things” since I was a kid who collected comics, played D&D, read fantasy and sci-fi, had encyclopedic knowledge of the Star Trek and Star Wars universes.  I don’t know if that makes me a nerd.  I know I definitely had my moments of feeling socially outcast when I was a kid who liked to make manga drawings in class. Regardless, I disagree with your reader’s chronology of the special worlds that belonged to nerds only. Some of these things have never been nerd only.  I’m definitely not a hardcore gamer. But even what little I know of games shows your previous letter-writer is wrong about jocks forcing the industry to cater to them by producing “sports and fighting games”. Wikipedia clearly shows that video games have been featured sports in some form or other since the very beginning.  (Um, what is Pong?? or Atari Olympics (1977)?)  American football was all the rage on NES starting in 1989 with Tecmo BowlStreet Fighter II is one of the most popular games of all time (fighting or otherwise). It came out in 1991.  Did the jock takeover happen then? No. The majority of nerds I knew loved Street Fighter.  And the ones who didn’t were partisans of other fighting games like Mortal Kombat. Now let’s talk comics.  I’ve been buying comics for decades. I can tell you from both personal experience and some reading about the history of the industry, comics have always been a mass medium.  For a long time, it was decidedly not a niche for nerds only.  From the 1930s to the 1960s, they were read by boys and girls, nerds, jocks, and everyone in-between.  That’s just in the US.  Obviously, comics are still popular across all demographics today in Japan. Sure, comics became less of a universal medium in the US as other forms of popular entertainment became important (esp. TV and rock music in the 1950s and 60s), but it’s wrong to think that somehow the jocks decided to only invade comics sometime in the ’80s or ’90s or 2000s.  It was the adult and teenage male nerds in the 1980s who celebrated the rise of the grim, dark, revisionist comics of the 80s (exemplified by The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen and almost everything by Frank Miller in this period). Jocks didn’t do this.  Nerds did. And we loved it (except when we are arguing about it ;) ).  And we kept collecting – before, during, and after the comics bubble burst in the early ’90s. This desire to keep the world of comics, games, or other nerd-dom free of politics shows no sense of history and a lack of self-awareness.

Another points to more history:

Here is a very interesting factoid that should enliven the debate: while in the late ’60s role-playing games and D&D were the province of males, Star Trek fandom was essentially a female endeavor. All the early fanzines, the fan fiction, the early conventions and the devotion to the universe were driven by female fans. It is well known in the world of fandom that ladies are those who make their own gear and costumes. Very few guys do (except Adam Savage, of course). Guys buy stuff. That is also why most of the advertising is directed at boys – it is well known that “girls don’t buy the fuckin’ toys” and therefore nerd programming for women is of little use to the entertainment industry. A recent Star Trek fan survey done by an anthropologist showed that 57% of fans are female. On the role of female fans, I recommend reading Prof. Henry Jenkins’ Textual Poachers. If you set aside the usual comp-lit/de Certeau/post-structuralist blah blah, it’s a fascinating book that destroys the myth of the nerd as a young man (with Spock ears). Early fandom was female and queer.

Speaking of the gays, another reader:

Like nerd culture, gay culture has recently seen a great deal of upheaval, going from an ostracized and marginalized fringe to a wide acceptance from the mainstream that happened in a relatively short period of time.  I’ve long felt these two groups shared some similarities in their shunting from normal society, and now they are in similar positions in their cultural evolution.  There are some parallels beyond the sudden co-opting by the masses. Take the comic-book/gaming shop as an analog for a gay bar.  Pre-internet, the back rooms of comic shops were the first place that many nerds first found their like-minded compatriots after a lifetime of ridicule and ostracism from the mainstream.  Also, the importance of these places are being diminished by both the Internet becoming the de facto hangout for these groups, their acceptance in less specialized areas of society, and less persecution in general, which made the need for strength-in-numbers support less of an issue. The “self-identified” nerd you posted rings just the same as the “gay kids today have no idea how hard it was” types.  I also self-identify as a nerd, and have done so for 30-plus years, so I know all about the dark days.  However, I choose to embrace this influx of interest rather than try to maintain an air of purity that is as artificial as calling someone a “fake” geek.  Genuinity of someone’s “Geek Cred” is an arbitrary and pointless exercise that will differ radically from person to person based on whatever they consider to be a “real nerd” and is a fallacy both old and well known to many as “No True Scotsman”. Young, old; man, woman; newbie, vet. Everyone brings something to the nerd table.  Those who are constantly trying to keep the gates closed are having trouble adapting.  They aren’t trying to contribute or preserve the culture, they are trying to devolve it.  The environment just isn’t the same, and it is not going to go back.  Thank God.

Follow the whole discussion on Gamergate and nerdom more generally here.

“Being A Nerd Is Not Supposed To Be A Good Thing” Ctd

An “actual nerd” joins this reader in stating his case for true nerdom:

Female nerds take a stand against the reader:

He is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with this particular sordid corner of NerdCulture. As a woman, I earned my nerd status in exactly the same way as every other picked-on kid in school ever did: by being labeled that by my peers. I was bullied, I was mocked for reading too much SFF, for playing Dungeons and Dragons, and for not being very good at sports. Now this guy and folks like him want to tell me I didn’t earn that nerd card? That I don’t belong with the only group where I have ever belonged? I have some choice four letter words for him, as well as advice on where he can stick them.

The wonder of it all is that he clearly can’t even see his hypocrisy – that he is doing exactly the same thing to women that has been done to him. And while I may sympathize with his situation, I 1979474_354805564678076_7909139515221880476_ndon’t need his permission to lay claim to territory that has been mine since the first time I read The Hobbit at age five or discovered Batman comics at fourteen. Nerd territory is the domain of the outcast and the iconoclast, and it has never been about needing anyone’s approval. Watching these men try to say that they suddenly have some kind of say in who gets to wear the label would be hilarious if it wasn’t so infuriating.

Another is a tad more direct:

Speaking as a female nerd, your reader can definitely go fuck himself over that thought train.  I’ve spent my entire life dealing with assholes like him and how I’m a “fake nerd” simply because I have breasts and a vagina.  News flash dude: my adolescence was probably half as fun as yours.

I was also introverted, awkward with people and interested in stuff no one else cared about, but the community I should have been able to band together with, the people who you found and clearly bonded with, rejected me out right.  And yeah, if I wasn’t slightly obsessive (and a stubborn little cuss, as my mother use to say), I probably would have dropped all of it years ago and followed something else more appropriately “female”. But I love what I love and I make no bones about it to anyone, even if they do think I’m a little outside the lines.

Another also reflects on her adolescence:

It’s fucking miserable being a smart, nerdy 12-year-old girl. No one likes it that you’d rather play Civ or fine tune your Magic deck. Boys are angry that you are in their thing, or worse, better than them at it. Girls don’t care about your thing and soon care less for you when you talk about your thing.

Luckily I had my mother, a scientist, devoted Star Trek fan (sorry, enthusiast) and careful curator of my voracious reading habits. She made sure I had plenty of female role models, almost all of the fictional ones ostracized underdogs fighting for justice. Some people have religion. I had Alanna and Aerin.

And another:

I sincerely hope you are getting a significant amount of pushback on this “apologia of sorts” because, as a woman who is sick and tired of demands that I verify my nerd credentials to countless men throughout my life, this genuinely disturbed me.

Like your reader, I too immersed myself in video games, comics, science fiction and all things nerdom as young person and continue to embrace them well into adulthood. But unlike this guy, I do not have an “imbalance of personality” or any other such “personality defect”. I did it because I liked it, and I still do. I’m 36 years old, I have 6 game consoles, and thousands of comic books I collected throughout the ’80s and ’90s, among other artifacts like props and costumes.

But where I diverge the most from your other reader is the impact of our shared pursuits becoming more mainstream. The things I used to think made me a loser are now things that I think make me pretty cool. It’s really done wonders for my self esteem; I was the nerdy bookworm and now I’m the cool smart chick. It’s too bad that he can’t embrace the fact the changes in the industry mean we’re no longer outcasts even if we are still weird.

One last related comment. Any female gamer who has ever tried to enter the hyper-masculine confines of the XBox live community and any male gamer who has encountered a female gamer there, should be unsurprised by the GamerGate fiasco. Make no mistake, this is an exclusive club and his allusion to this exclusivity (“Frankly, I do question the claim of many women who say they are nerds”) is extremely mild compared to what I’ve experienced. He saying we don’t belong or rather we must prove to me that we belong before being accepted, most say much worse.

Well, thanks again for getting me all fired up on Thursday morning! What would I do without The Dish? (Probably work more, but work isn’t everything, you know.)

Follow the whole thread on gaming culture here.

(Photo of two actual nerds at Comic Con via Leah Zander)

“Being A Nerd Is Not Supposed To Be A Good Thing”

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A self-identified nerd writes:

I think what a lot of the commentary on GamerGate misses is that Nerd culture is by nature an exclusionary thing, and all claims of Nerdom being mainstream are a contradiction in terms. To be a nerd is not simply about liking something, even to the point of being socially awkward. Being a nerd is about being so emotionally and intellectually invested in something that you develop a completely unearned sense of entitlement surrounding that thing, as if the people in charge of it owe you something for how hard you like it. It isn’t a positive lifestyle or something to be proud of; it’s an imbalance of personality that we embrace in ourselves only because we have no other way to be.

We are nerds because they wouldn’t let us not be, so we created our own spheres and our own languages and pop culture canon, and because we’re smarter than the idiots who wouldn’t let us in, eventually our sphere appealed to them.

I went home and played videogames because I couldn’t play sports and didn’t have the competitive instinct, but eventually the jocks followed me home, demanding sports games and fighting games and soon the market shifted to cater to them, leaving me to find another thing. Then it was comics, and then the dopes followed me home again and demanded lowest common denominator action nonsense with the names of the things I liked slapped onto them. This is the plight of the nerds; we have to listen to media morons talk about how mainstream being a nerd is as what we love, what we devote our lives to, is co-opted by the very people who we sought escape from through our eclectic obsessions.

Frankly, I do question the claim of many women who say they are nerds, as it is a personality defect I find it hard to ascribe to a sector of society that is usually more mature and less prone to arrested development than the average male. Most are mistaking the concept of a nerd with that of an enthusiast. That so many of them don’t understand the sometimes petty rejection they face trying to enter a subculture created by ostracism is precisely because they aren’t what they think they are. They’re just regular people who maybe like Doctor Who or Star Trek. They should just accept that, and their larger ability to fit in with other regular people, which we can’t do.

This is our thing, and we don’t need you to relate to it to the same extent we do, even if we have the same tastes in common. Just let us have this and leave us alone.

Update: Female readers react here. Follow the whole thread on gaming culture here.