Mixing Commerce With Consecration

by Tracy R. Walsh

President Obama, Officials Attend 9/11 Memorial Museum Opening Ceremony

Steve Kandell, whose sister was killed in the World Trade Center, shares his conflicted experience touring the National September 11 Memorial & Museum:

I can feel the sweat that went into making this not seem tacky, of wanting to show respect, but also wanting to show every last bit of carnage and visceral whomp to justify the $24 price of admission – vulgarity with the noblest intentions. … I think now of every war memorial I ever yawned through on a class trip, how someone else’s past horror was my vacant diversion and maybe I learned something but I didn’t feel anything. Everyone should have a museum dedicated to the worst day of their life and be forced to attend it with a bunch of tourists from Denmark. Annotated divorce papers blown up and mounted, interactive exhibits detailing how your mom’s last round of chemo didn’t take, souvenir T-shirts emblazoned with your best friend’s last words before the car crash. And you should have to see for yourself how little your pain matters to a family of five who need to get some food before the kids melt down. Or maybe worse, watch it be co-opted by people who want, for whatever reason, to feel that connection so acutely.

Rosemarie Ward, noting that many of the items on display were donated by victims’ families, is more moved:

Throughout the space are segments of twisted steel, like sculptures. A fire engine from the back looks a bit battered, but the entire front cab is a ghost of mangled steel. A set of partially damaged concrete stairs nestle between an escalator and the museum’s main staircase. The so-called “Survivors’ Staircase” was an outdoor staircase that led some survivors to safety on nearby Vesey Street. In removing this staircase from the site, architects and archeologists treated it as carefully as an ancient relic. …

The audio and video clips of those who are lost, of those who remain, of construction workers, of firefighters, of ordinary New Yorkers, are very moving. The personal accounts, such as the one from John Napolitano whose firefighting son died that day, are hard to listen to. The last phone calls of those lost are devastating. The multi-media exhibits, designed by Local Projects, are particularly moving. In some places visitors are encouraged to make videos while at the museum, which will become part of the exhibit.

The museum is extremely well done. It offers solace to those who still mourn, and an education for those who were not yet born.

(Photo: Objects recovered from the World Trade Center site are displayed during a press preview of the National September 11 Memorial Museum at ground zero May 15, 2014 in New York City. The museum spans seven stories, mostly underground, and contains artifacts from the attack on the World Trade Center Towers on September 11, 2001 that include the 80-foot high tridents, the so-called ‘Ground Zero Cross,’ the destroyed remains of Company 21’s New York Fire Department Engine as well as smaller items. The museum opens to the public on May 21. By James Keivom-Pool/Getty Images)

What Will Clinton Campaign On?

by Patrick Appel

Andrew Prokop picks up on Hillary’s new inequality rhetoric:

[In a recent speech,] Clinton is positioning herself as a kind of global crusader against income inequality, urging corrupt and wealthy elites to do something about this challenge. And by bringing up the Arab Spring, she alludes to the “explosive results” that could occur if the US doesn’t do something to address it. “Many Americans feel frustrated, even angry,” she said. Though Clinton never explicitly argues that social upheaval akin to the Arab Spring could happen here, bringing it up in this context clearly underscores the need for urgent action. So rather than arguing that her Secretary tenure makes her qualified to lead on foreign affairs, she’s saying it beefs up her qualifications on domestic policy.

Beinart thinks Hillary is already targeting Jeb:

Clinton is not a great inspirational speaker. She’s at her best arguing a case. And the most effective part of her speech Friday was her case for why Clinton-administration policies—an expanded earned-income tax credit, a higher minimum wage, the State Children’s Health Insurance Program—helped poor and middle-class Americans get ahead, while the Bush administration policies that followed—tax breaks for the rich, unfunded wars—made their struggles harder.

If Republicans are smart, they’ll do everything in their power to avoid this debate. First, because they want to portray Hillary as running for Barack Obama’s third term, not her husband’s, since the Obama legacy is trickier to defend. Second, because the 2016 GOP nominee needs to embody change, which is hard to do when you’re depicted as George W. Bush. Third, because Bill Clinton is about 20 points more popular than Bush, and that’s highly unlikely to change over the next two years.

The one Republican presidential candidate who can’t avoid this debate is Jeb, a man who is known to the vast majority of Americans only as George W. Bush’s brother. Running him in 2016 is like nominating a close relative of Jefferson Davis as the Democratic Party’s nominee in 1872 or nominating a prominent member of Herbert Hoover’s cabinet to represent the GOP in 1948: It dredges up a past the party desperately needs to transcend.

Love At A Distance, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

The discussion continues:

That reader in a semi-monogomous relationship with his GF who has her own place can live as they please but still have each other … and that’s great – without kids. With kids that’s called an amicable divorce.

Another skeptic:

So this reader is in a non-monogamous relationship with someone they don’t live with. Congratulations, you’ve discovered dating. This is not exactly a breakthrough.

I met the woman who would become my wife when we lived on opposite sides of the country. I moved to be with her and we married a year after I got to town. But even before we got hitched, we lived together. I love her, so I want to be around her. Like everyone, we have times where we recharge individually, but good grief; I couldn’t imagine saying “I love you, I’m so grateful to have you in my life, now go away.”

There’s also the joy of intimacy, and I mean real intimacy – of having someone in your life, of giving yourself to them, of just being around someone. My wife isn’t a roommate with benefits. This is not someone I dig and want to hook up with occasionally. I love her. It would be insane not to want to be around her.

But another reader has had success with living apart together:

Can we talk some more about LAT? It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. My long-time partner and I maintain separate households in neighborhoods about a half-hour drive away from each other, but we’ve lived together periodically when circumstances dictate (I had to get out of my place for awhile while it was being worked on; he had to sublet his place for a few months while he was unemployed).

Living together just hasn’t worked out so well for us. Both of us live in an expensive city, so our places are small, and we have very different styles when it comes to maintaining our space. I like a clean, peaceful place, and he tends to leave a trail of clothes and crumbs wherever he goes. I sometimes like to binge-watch shows on Netflix, which he hates. Living together, domestic resentments piled up (I don’t like to clean up after another adult, but he’s never going to be as orderly as I am, etc.), and we grew tired of seeing each other morning in and morning out, much as we enjoy sleeping in the same bed, and the focus of many of our conversations were domestic issues. It got boring, even though I find him anything but boring.

We plan to marry, but we will still live apart and date. Visiting each other on weekends and one or two nights during the week  builds in enough space that we have lots of unshared experiences to talk about, and enough space that we’re overjoyed to see each other when it happens. Sex isn’t on the table nightly and therefore easy to avoid; when we see each other, it’s with anticipation. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want to be with this man for the rest of my life, but sharing a domestic existence would grind that desire right out of me. I’m at an age at which I don’t need a relationship for child-bearing or asset-building; I’m in it for good times, affectionate companionship, and mutual support. It makes sense to keep the good times rolling. Luckily for me, we see absolutely eye-to-eye on this.

Another:

I’ve been so excited to see these posts; they are very comforting to me right now. My husband of seven years recently took a too-good-to-pass-up job offer in San Francisco, moving away from me and our pet rabbit, who live in Boston. It hasn’t been easy, but so far, it’s been working for us. He came home two weekends ago, and we spent the best weekend we’ve had together in years. It’s easier to spend quality time together once a month than every night in front of the TV and laptop screens.

Like the other reader, I see very real advantages to living apart, like moving to the neighborhood he never wanted to live in, and getting the farm share he wouldn’t eat. But as we learn to navigate this new normal in our relationship, it’s tremendously helpful to see that many other people are making it work.

Update from the original reader:

Love the responses, and let me add an addendum: Yes, my GF don’t have (or want) kids (or marriage) which makes it simpler for us. Exactly: for us. We don’t think that our way is for everyone, yet people who criticize the LATs of the world (and they are legion, including many family members, gay and straight, who push us to get married) assume that what works for them (Living together! Daily intimacy! Every damn day forever and a day!) should work for everyone. We all share certain things in common (the desire for love and affection, intimacy and support) but we’re also all different and people ought to do what works for them without scorning or dismissing those who do otherwise.

Must We Tax The Rich To Help The Poor?

by Jonah Shepp

Jared Bernstein argues that we can’t have it both ways:

[T]here are three reliable ways to help or “lift” the bottom: subsidies that increase the poor’s economic security today; investment in their future productivity; and targeted job opportunities at decent wages. The first two are more closely related than you might think, because researchers are discovering that anti-poverty consumption programs such as nutritional and income supports have long-lasting benefits to children in families that receive them. None of these three approaches are free.  …. All of the above — the expanded earned-income tax credit, universal preschool, job-creating infrastructure — will take more tax revenue, and much of that new revenue will need to come from those at the top of the wealth scale.

Douthat objects:

1) I don’t think even Bernstein believes that it’s actually impossible to improve the situation of the poor without directly raising taxes on the rich.

What about, to pick two ideas favored by various thinkers on the left and right, a one-two punch of criminal justice reform to reduce incarceration rates and urban upzoning to lower the cost of living and working in wealthy cities? Both would probably improve opportunity for the poor and the lower-middle class; neither would require a higher top marginal tax rate or massive new public outlays. Do these kind of ideas just not count?

2)  It’s possible to favor increasing redistribution along something like the lines Bernstein suggests — through an expanded earned income tax credit, for instance — while disagreeing that we need a higher top marginal rate or a Piketty-style wealth tax in order to do it. Given that our existing tax code, like the zoning policies mentioned above, has a heavy pro-rentier and pro-rich bias, why couldn’t we start by cutting or capping existing tax subsidies — for expensive homes, for expensive health insurance, for being a wealthy taxpayer in a high tax state — and put that money to work first? This would involve “new revenue,” in a sense, but you wouldn’t have to raise tax rates (as we already just did) in order to get it, and you would be redistributing unearned, effectively-subsidized riches rather than just hacking away more indiscriminately at the idle and entrepreneurial alike.

A Russian Pullback Won’t Save Ukraine

by Jonah Shepp

Analyzing Russia’s most recent announcement that it will withdraw troops from the Ukrainian border, Linda Kinstler stresses that, even if it’s true, the Ukrainians are still sitting ducks:

[I]f Russian troops do retreat to their “usual garrisons,” plenty of Russian forces will still be well within striking distance of Ukraine. There are multiple Russian bases along the Ukrainian border, so for troops to move back to their permanent stations might not mean all that much as far as de-escalation goes. “It seems that [Putin’s] agents are having more problems [in eastern Ukraine] than they bargained for, and he is now perhaps looking to minimize his overexposure,” said Stephen Blank, senior fellow at the American Foreign Policy Council. “But the fact of the matter is they could withdraw five miles and then they could come right back.” Russian forces, Finch says, “are not that far from the Ukrainian border to begin with. For them to turn around wouldn’t be that big of a move.”

Even more dangerous, as Ukraine discovered in Crimea, was the presence of Russian soldiers on their soil. Dmitry Gorenburg draws lessons from that experience:

First of all, having Russian bases on the territory of one’s state makes an invasion much easier to carry out. Russian naval bases in Crimea were used as a beachhead for covertly moving Russian forces into Ukraine. Since the number of troops actually based in Crimea was significantly lower than the maximum of 25,000 agreed to between Russia and Ukraine in the 1997 treaty that regulated the status of the Black Sea Fleet, Russia could even claim that the increase in the number of Russian troops in Crimea did not violate the relevant treaty.* This precedent should be a concern to Moldova, Kyrgyzstan, Armenia, and other states with Russian troops stationed on their territory.

Second, former Soviet states need to watch out for Russian agents and collaborators working in their security and military forces. One of the reasons for the ineffectiveness of Ukraine’s military and security response in Crimea and subsequent covert activities in the country’s east is that that Ukraine’s secure communications channels are almost certainly compromised by Russian agents. Most other former Soviet states most likely have similar problems, though perhaps not to the same extent.

Meanwhile, Sarah Chayes examines how corruption left Ukraine militarily unprepared for Russian aggression:

Chronic underfunding “enhanced the role of the human factor” in choosing among operational priorities. Ostensibly outdated equipment was sold “at unreasonably understated prices” in return for kickbacks. Officers even auctioned off defense ministry land. Gradually, Kyiv began requiring the military to cover more of its own costs, forcing senior officers into business, “which is…inconsistent with the armed forces’ mission,” and opened multiple avenues for corruption. Commanders took to “using military equipment, infrastructure, and…personnel [to] build private houses, [or] make repairs in their apartments.” Procurement fraud was rife, as were bribes to get into and through military academies, and for desirable assignments.

Meanwhile, Ukrainian factories kept on turning out high-quality materiel that was exported for cash to China, Ethiopia, Pakistan, and Russia. The results have been on display for the past two months: helicopters and armored vehicles immobile for lack of fuel or missing parts; soldiers in Crimea turning in their uniforms for promises of a Russian salary five times the paltry $200 per month Ukraine was paying. Ordinary citizens donating some $2 million to the defense budget by texting 565 on their mobile phones.

Previous Dish on Ukraine’s strategic vulnerability here.

Glacier Melt Is Worse Than Expected

by Patrick Appel

Andrea Thompson summarizes the bad news:

Greenland’s glaciers are more vulnerable to melting by warm ocean waters than previously thought, a new study of the topography of the bedrock under the ice finds. This clearer picture of the underpinnings of the miles-thick ice sheet, along with other recent studies that suggest parts of Earth’s polar regions are not as stable as once thought, could mean that current projections of future sea level rise are too low.

The new Greenland findings, detailed online May 18 in the journal Nature Geoscience, come on the heels of an announcement by the same group of researchers at the University of California, Irvine, that some of the largest and fastest-moving glaciers of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet have entered a phase of “unstoppable” collapse.

What this means:

The West Antarctic Ice Sheet alone contains enough ice to add another 10 to 13 feet of sea level rise, and the Greenland Ice Sheet contains enough to contribute another 20 feet.

Ryan Avent uses the new findings to discuss how “to calculate the present value of future benefits from reduced emissions today”:

Unfortunately, peeling apart how people actually discount benefits centuries or more in the future is very hard. But a fascinating new NBER working paper uses a clever approach to take a crack at it.

The authors exploit an oddity in British real estate: Britons buying a home may either purchase what is known as a freehold (which means they own the land outright) or a leasehold (which means they “own” it for the duration of the leasehold). But leaseholds aren’t like your standard rental contract; they often grant ownership for periods between 80 and 999 years. The authors reckon that by finding the premium paid for freeholds relative to super-long-dated leaseholds on otherwise identical properties, they can come up with an estimate of how distant benefits are actually valued in the market.

Remarkably, they find that people pay a premium of 10%-15% less for 100-year leaseholds and 5%-8% less for leaseholds of between 125-150 years. Only for leaseholds of 700 years or more do they detect no difference in price. On the whole, they reckon, a discount rate of about 2.6% appears to apply out well beyond a century. Oddly enough, people are willing to part with real money now in exchange for benefit flows accruing well beyond any reasonable expected lifespan.

That won’t make it any easier to generate the political support for meaningful action to slow climate change. But it does make it harder to justify delay based on the fact that people simply don’t care much about the distant future.

Wireless Electricity For Your Heart

by Jonah Shepp

Scientists gave a rabbit a tiny, wireless pacemaker:

A rabbit’s beating heart has been regulated using a tiny pacemaker that beams in energy from outside its body. It is the first time this kind of wireless energy transfer has been demonstrated in a living animal. If such wirelessly powered medical implants can work in people too, it would reduce the seriousness of the procedures required to get them fitted.

“Our device is small, so it will be much easier to deliver into the body,” says Ada Poon of Stanford University in California, who led the team that implanted the tiny pacemaker. Being fitted with a pacemaker currently requires surgery plus another operation when the battery eventually runs down. So Poon and her colleagues outfitted a rabbit with a pacemaker that has no battery and is just 3 millimetres long.

Olivia Solon explains how it works:

The system works on the principle that waves travel in different ways when they come into contact with different materials.

This is highlighted by the fact that you can hear the vibration of train wheels if you put your ear to the railway track much earlier than you would hear the train with your ears. It involves using a flat, credit card-sized power source positioned outside of the body over the device that can interact with the body’s tissue to induce propagating waves that converge on a micro-device implanted in the body.

The 2mm-long microdevice consists of a power harvesting coil, integrated circuits, electrodes and fixation structures. Such devices can be used as “electroceuticals” to strategically stimulate or silence nerves to treat a range of conditions including Parkinson’s, depression and chronic pain. The same devices could also be used to strategically deliver drugs or monitor vital functions deep inside the body. Power could either be delivered directly from outside of the body or the power could be sent to periodically recharge small, embedded batteries.

Cassandra Khaw looks at where this development could lead:

Poon believes that her work could lead to programmable microimplants like sensors that monitor vital functions, electrostimulators that alter neural signals in the brain, and drug delivery systems that apply medicine directly where needed. All without the bulk of batteries and recharging systems required today. Her endeavours could also help expedite the development of medical treatments that utilize electronics instead of drugs. Stanford Neurosciences Institute director William Newsome said that “the Poon lab has solved a significant piece of the puzzle for safely powering implantable microdevices.” So far, the wireless charging system has been tested in a pig and also used to power a pacemaker in a rabbit. The next step is human trials. Should those prove successful, it will likely take a few years before the system is authorized for commercial usage.

Why Pull The Trigger?

by Jessie Roberts

Support is building for “trigger warnings” on works of literature that address sensitive topics like rape or war (NYT):

Colleges across the country this spring have been wrestling with student requests for what are known as “trigger warnings,” explicit alerts that the material they are about to read or see in a classroom might upset them or, as some students assert, cause symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder in victims of rape or in war veterans. The warnings, which have their ideological roots in feminist thought, have gained the most traction at the University of California, Santa Barbara, where the student government formally called for them.

Drum fails to see the endgame here:

I’m not especially sympathetic to the trigger warning movement, which seems more appropriate for explicitly safe spaces (counseling groups, internet forums, etc.) than for public venues like university campuses. But put that aside. What I don’t get is what anyone thinks the point of this is. You’re never going to have trigger warnings in ordinary life, right? So even if universities started adopting broad trigger policies, it would accomplish nothing except to semi-protect sensitive students for a few more years of their lives, instead of teaching them how to deal with upsetting material.

Lowry scoffs:

The problem with the trigger warning as conceived by its most fervent supporters is its presumption that people can be harmed by works of literature; that every student is a victim of something and on the verge of breaking down; and that ultimately students have to be protected from anything departing from their comfort zones.

It is profoundly infantilizing. If someone can’t read Crime and Punishment (warning: includes scenes of near-madness, violence, sexual exploitation, cruelty to animals, and smoking) or Hamlet (warning: includes poisoning, drowning, stabbing, and intense intra-familial conflict) without fear of being offended, he or she should major in accounting.

Jason Diamond suggests the critics are being too callous:

[N]o matter how silly you might judge a trigger warning on a copy of The Great Gatsby to be, the mocking tone comes off as victim-shaming, whether it’s intentional or not. Of course, it takes two to tango, and the pro-trigger warning side, in some cases, could do a better job presenting its arguments. The Oberlin College draft guide mentioned in the Times piece, which asked professors to put trigger warnings in their syllabi, doesn’t make it clear how trigger warnings from the left are different from the right’s book-banning. …

At the end of the day, it’s up to the individual to figure out what’s best for them, and we are better if we support them when they need it — but, perhaps, attend to individual readers’ needs rather than make assumptions about what will upset certain groups. At the very least, we need to have more serious conversations about not just trigger warnings, but the causes behind them. And we should strive to make those conversations as compassionate as possible.

Mary Elizabeth Williams argues that over-using the phrase “trigger warning” has diminished its meaning:

[I]t’s thrown around so much it easily becomes pointless and infantilizing. So explain what you’re teaching. Justify it. Have conversations and ask questions and set a tone that inspires complex thought. Be sensitive and respectful. Just take more than two words to do it. Don’t define a work solely by its most dramatic and upsetting elements, removing its context and giving it an automatically negative taint, because it’s hard to approach a work with an open heart and mind when the most important thing you know about it going in is that it’s going to be “triggering.”

Ari Kohen is on the same page:

[I]n my human rights courses, I’ve often told students that I’ve assigned something that might be upsetting to them, that they should be aware of the content before they begin, and that I’m available to speak with them about the topic at any time. … Reading about torture, genocide, or sexual violence can be deeply disturbing — and not only to people who have experienced these abuses; it’s important to let students know what awaits them in the week’s reading so they can prepare themselves both emotionally and intellectually for the challenge. Not surprisingly, I’ve found that discussions on these challenging topics are more thoughtful when students were warned that their reading might be emotionally taxing.

Another idea:

[G]enerate the warnings and make them available on request and online. Make them easy to find for anyone who needs them — but underplay them. I think it’s good that people with nut allergies can find allergan notices by reading side-panel labels on packaged foods. I think it’s also good when the rest of us find them easy to ignore. That’s the right balance.

Previous Dish on trigger warnings here.

Shame On NYU

by Jonah Shepp

The cover story in yesterday’s NYT exposed the deplorable conditions of the laborers who built New York University’s new satellite campus in Abu Dhabi, where Bill Clinton will address the first graduating class this Sunday. Overworked, underpaid, living in squalor, with their passports confiscated, no rights or recourse to justice… gee, they sound just like other migrant workers in the Gulf. But NYU had claimed they would do better. Joe Coscarelli sums up the university’s lame response:

A spokesperson for NYU said this was the first they’d heard about unrest among the workers and that the school is “working with our partners to have it investigated.” The executive director of campus operations for NYU Abu Dhabi added, “We’re not involved in the negotiation of the contracts that the partners are doing, just as they’re not in the negotiation of the contracts that we’re doing. We have a relationship with our partners, and so we have to trust that what they’re coming up with are the reasonable wages on their end.”

“I just don’t think that universities and museums should be working like Wal-Mart,” one NYU professor told BuzzFeed, speaking for the many critical of the long-planned expansion. “I think the opportunity for students to be in the Middle East and North Africa, you know, is wonderful. I believe in global education. But I think you also need to question the terms of production.”

That the NYU administration thinks anyone will buy the line that they just “have to trust” their contractors not to exploit workers is laughable. It’s called due diligence, and they clearly didn’t bother with it. But I’m also a bit shocked that anyone is shocked by this; as Keating points out, it is depressingly common for international institutions that do business in the Gulf to take advantage of these countries’ lack of labor protections:

When internationally renowned architect Zaha Hadid, designer of the largest of Qatar’s World Cup stadiums, was asked to respond to reports that over 382 Nepali migrant workers had died in construction related to the World Cup on top of the more than 500 Indian migrants who have died in the country in 2012, she replied, “I have nothing to do with the workers. I think that’s an issue the government—if there’s a problem—should pick up.”

Most of the large institutions setting up shop in the Gulf probably wouldn’t be quite so callous as to say that working conditions simply aren’t their problem, but it’s nonetheless the case that as the United Arab Emirates and Qatar have given free reign and enormous resources to cultural institutions like NYU, the Louvre, the Guggenheim, and FIFA, and turned themselves into architectural playgrounds for the likes of Hadid, Frank Gehry, Norman Foster, and I.M. Pei. The well-known fact that the Gulf’s construction boom depends on foreign migrant workers enticed by false promises into near-slave labor conditions has often been conveniently brushed to the side.

The administration has since apologized, but Coscarelli is not impressed:

NYU President John Sexton, the man who struck up a partnership with Abu Dhabi’s royal family, called the treatment “if true as reported, troubling and unacceptable … They are out-of-line with the labor standards we deliberately set for those constructing the ‘turn-key’ campus being built for us on Saadiyat Island and inconsistent with what we understood to be happening on the ground for those workers.” (Most worked for contractors, not the university directly.)

The apologies are all well and good on the PR front, but as one worker, waiting more than a year for his last six months of pay, told the Times, “When will the money come? If the money comes it will be O.K.” Sorry doesn’t feed a family.

Neither is Erik Loomis:

NYU could have had someone on site monitoring the labor conditions that would actually try to find out what was going on rather one who papered over problems to make the client happy. It could employ these workers directly and be the responsible party for paying them. It could have constructed its own dormitories for these workers. But of course it did none of these things. NYU administrators were just following the cash. It contracted out the labor and completely forgot about it until the news reports about the exploitation came out. If NYU wants to take real responsibility, it will take on liability for these workers. Otherwise, this falls into the empty “I’m sorry we were caught” category of apology.

And neither am I.

The Intercourse Is For Fun

by Chris Bodenner

Alice Dreger, a bioethics professor with a precocious son, reflects on how uninformed his classmates are when it comes to basic sex ed. Her core point:

How funny that we can’t bring ourselves to tell our children the most fundamental truth about sex, that most of the time we have sex, we have it for pleasure.

Praising the piece, Dan Savage shares a great anecdote from his newest book:

There’s a chapter in American Savage, which comes out in paperback next week, about how lousy sex education is in America. I point out that we don’t teach about pleasure in our sex ed programs—which run the gamut from dangerous (abstinence-only) to pathetic (“comprehensive” sex ed programs that leave out pleasure, gay sex, and obtaining consent, a.k.a. “talking people into having sex with you”).

But talking about sexual pleasure with kids is easier said than done. Even I left it out when I explained sex to my son. That omission lead to a pretty funny confrontation…

One day my then-eight-year-old son came into the kitchen and jumped up on the counter. He narrowed his eyes and gave me a strange look.

“Two men can’t make a baby,” D.J. finally said.

That’s true, I told him, two men can’t make a baby.

“Then you and daddy have sex for no reason,” he said.

Most of the sex that goes on out there—gay sex, straight sex, solo sex—is for “no reason,” or more accurately for a very good reason—for pleasure. And yet most parents, myself included, leave pleasure out of “the talk.” And if a sex-advice columnist who believes that pleasure needs to be incorporated into sex education leaves pleasure out, can you blame sex educators for ducking the issue?