When her young son asked about where a pet dog went after dying, Julia Fierro refused to answer by saying “heaven” – a handy reply she admits would make being a parent easier:
No matter how much I’d love to tell my children that there is always a happy ending, I can’t tell them a story I don’t believe in. Faith was a precious relief in my own anxious childhood–as was the certainty that there was a beautiful and, more importantly, safe place like heaven, no matter what your earthly life. The rituals of prayer, and its accessories–rosary beads, the plastic-framed picture of a benevolent Jesus over my bed, my collection of Virgin Mary statues and the silver crucifix I wore around my neck–were amulets against the danger I felt lurking everywhere, which would, decades later, be diagnosed as Obsessive-Compulsive disorder.
What Fierro and her husband, also an atheist, have learned from their experiences:
We used to debate whether it was worse to have faith and lose it, or to never know it at all. The debate is no longer relevant because it is clear that as we’ve grown as a couple, become parents twice-over, surpassed challenges in our careers, in our relationship, and in our children’s lives, we have become more faithless. But only in our faith in God. We’ve become more faithful to our belief in, and practice of, family. The conception and birth of a baby, and the moment-to-moment bustle specific to parenting young children, is a constant reminder that life is an act of faith. I wonder, sometimes, if I live each moment more fully than my parents because I believe this life, and every moment I have to stare at my children’s smiles, is all I will ever have.

