The Daily Wrap

Today on the Dish we heard more healthcare commentary from Matt Steinglass, Megan McArdle, Reihan SalamBill Kristol, and a TPM reader. Friedersdorf tackled the Twitter scandal about the drowned boy, scrutinized the flow of drugs across the Mexican border, and discussed celebrity culture. Sprung took another look at Pakistan, examined the bank bailout, and analyzed a novel about the industrial decline of Britain. I talked about the Window View book with some readers.

We rounded up some reader jokes here, here, here, here, and here. We continued to chronicle depressing Christmas songs here, here, here, here, and here. Our MHB mash-up was pretty brilliant.

— C.B.

Depressing Christmas Songs, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

A reader emails Tom Waits' "Christmas Card From A Hooker in Minneapolis" and the words.  The gloriously grim words, after the jump:

hey Charley I'm pregnant
and living on 9-th street
right above a dirty bookstore
off cuclid avenue
and I stopped taking dope
and I quit drinking whiskey
and my old man plays the trombone
and works out at the track.

and he says that he loves me
even though its not his baby
and he says that he'll raise him up
like he would his own son
and he gave me a ring
that was worn by his mother
and he takes me out dancin
every saturday nite.

and hey Charley I think about you
everytime I pass a fillin' station
on account of all the grease
you used to wear in your hair
and I still have that record
of little anthony & the imperials
but someone stole my record player
how do you like that?

hey Charley I almost went crazy
after mario got busted
so I went back to omaha to
live with my folks
but everyone I used to know
was either dead or in prison
so I came back in minneapolis
this time I think I'm gonna stay.

hey Charley I think I'm happy
for the first time since my accident
and I wish I had all the money
that we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot
and I wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car
every day dependin on how
I feel.

hey Charley
for chrissakes
do you want to know
the truth of it?
I don't have a husband
he don't play the trombone
and I need to borrow money
to pay this lawyer
and Charley, hey
I'll be eligible for parole
come valentines day.

Malkin Award Nominee

by Chris Bodenner

"He’s saying, implicitly, the true meaning of Christmas is that you don’t destroy babies. You don’t destroy children. And that the federal government should not be part and parcel of that in terms of funding it," Fox analyst Peter Johnson, Jr., on Senator Ben Nelson's holdout on the healthcare bill. And just when I thought I had all my Christmas shopping done.

Brain Drain to the City of London, circa 1988

by Andrew Sprung

Mulling over Martin Wolf's portrayal of the U.K. as a monocrop economy, overly dependent on its financial industry, it occurred to me that I'd witnessed the transition, years ago, — in a novel. That would be David Lodge's devilishly clever Nice Work — published in 1988, and so probably written in the wake of the U.K.'s "Big Bang" banking deregulation of 1986.

A send-up of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South (1855), which chronicles the rise of Britain's industrial north, Nice Work tracks industrial decline in a fictional Manchester. It splits scenes between a rundown red-brick university in financial crisis and a beleaguered auto parts factory. The protagonists' brief escape to a machine tool trade show in Frankfurt makes West Germany seem like a kind of of industrial Candyland by contrast.

But the City of London also makes a cameo. The heroine's boyfriend, like the heroine, is a young left-wing literary theorist teaching romantic poetry, who boasts that he's snagged "the last new job in romanticism in this century."  The heroine's brother works in the City, which her academic family regards as a disreputable shame. To make matters worse, his girlfriend is a tough working class girl who's proved to be a gifted trader. 

In novelistic fashion, the effete professor of romantic poetry starts disappearing nights into the home of the gritty trader.  Our heroine then receives this news by letter:

But I've finished with thesis topics. What I have to tell you is that I have determined upon a change of career. I'm going to become a merchant banker.

"Have you done laughing?" as Alton Locke says to his readers. I am of course rather old to be making such a change, but I feel quite confident that I can make a success of it and I'm very excited by the challenge. I think it's the first risky thing I've ever done in my life [2009 footnote: not the last], and I feel a new man in consequence. I've got to undergo a period of training, of course, but even so I shall start at a higher salary than my present one, and after that, well, the sky's the limit.

He goes on to assert that as leftist academics, he and the heroine have been "stranded on the mudflats of an obsolete ideology," a played-out statism. Then:

Its' no use blaming Thatcher, as if she was some kind of witch who has enchanted the nation. She is riding the Zeitgeist. When trade unions offer their members discount subscriptions to BUPA, the writing is on the wall for old-style socialism. What the new style will be, I don't know, but I believe there is more chance of identifying it from the vantage-point of the City than from the University of Suffolk. The first thing that struck me about the City when I started observing Debbie at work was the sheer energy of the place, and the second was its democracy.  A working-class girl like Debbie pulling down thirty-thousand-odd a year is by no means an anomalous figure. Contrary to the stereotype of the ex-public-school stockbroker, it doesn't matter what your social background is in the City these days, as long as you're good at your job. Money is a great leveller, upwards.

The novel repudiates and (lightly) punishes this move. But then, part of the extended joke of the novel is that it replays the "ideological bad faith" that its heroine likes to expose in nineteenth century industrial novels like North and South.  So, in the end, a bequest settles all; a benevolent capitalist and a revitalized scholar get new leases on professional life.  But Lodge might take some satisfaction today that beneath the narrative contraption, the novel leaves behind a clean snapshot of the lure of brains to the City.

Depressing Christmas Songs, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

Two readers submitted Stan Rogers' "First Christmas" within just one minute of each other.  Lyrics after the jump:

This day a year ago, he was rolling in the snow
With a younger brother in his father's yard
Christmas break, a time for touching home,
the heart of all he'd known
And leaving was so hard

Three thousand miles away,
now he's working Christmas Day
Making double time for the minding of the store
Well he always said, he'd make it on his own
He's spending Christmas Eve alone
First Christmas away from home

She's standing by the train station,
pan-handling for change
Four more dollars buys a decent meal and a room
Looks like the Sally Ann place after all,
in a crowded sleeping hall
That echoes like a tomb

But it's warm and clean and free,
and there are worse places to be
And at least it means no beating from her Dad
And if she cries because it's Christmas Day
She hopes that it won't show
First Christmas away from home

In the apartment stands a tree,
and it looks so small and bare
Not like it was meant to be,
Golden angel on the top
It's not that same old silver star,
you wanted for your own
First Christmas away from home

In the morning, they get prayers,
then it's crafts and tea downstairs
Then another meal back in his little room
Hoping maybe that "the boys" will think to phone
before the day is gone
Well, it's best they do it soon

When the "old girl" passed away,
he fell apart more every day
Each had always kept the other pretty well
But the kids all said the nursing home was best
Cause he couldn't live alone
First Christmas away from home

In the common room they've got the biggest tree
And it's huge and cold and lifeless
Not like it ought to be,
and the lit-up flashing Santa Claus on top
It's not that same old silver star,
you once made for your own
First Christmas away from home